Tonight I had the esteemed privilege of watching my niece for a few hours while her father went to work. Jaheim and Shakir were eager to play but she looked exhausted and to be honest, I really didn't think I was up to the noise that their play and laughter would incite. I was on my computer, trying to occupy myself as the boys watched cartoons. Renee was reading a book. Then, the unthinkable happened... my computer's battery died.
Now Diary, it is important that you understand the level of boredom that came over me as I peered at the episode of Caillou that I was sure that I had watched previously. Worse, I have to say that as a mother, out of all the cartoons that I endure because I believe in watching TV with my kids, Caillou is actually one of the worse. I know I'm probably too hard on the show because it is designed for small kids and I believe the writers try their best to portray a small child, who is learning appropriate behaviour, but all I see is a spoilt little boy who needs a spanking. I'm not quite sure when I began to feel that way since Caillou was once a show I considered to be nice, wholesome and educational. So anyway, it is while I was there struggling with boredom that I remembered that earlier I had ominously informed Renee that we had planned something for her. I even gave her an evil laugh to make it good and Jaheim chimed in with an almost perfect imitation of my laugh, which although quite funny, lent weight to what I was concocting.
Unexpectedly, I jumped on top of Shakir and bit him in the neck. Jaheim attacked me and he too was taken down. All the while, Renee sits in her spot, watching quietly with a huge grin. "I've turned you two into vampires!" I declared with loud gusto.
"Mummy, make Renee a vampire too," Shakir stated.
"I was a vampire ever since!" She stated, matter of fact, obviously thinking that she would be left out.
Still, it startled me long enough for me to pause. "What?"
"You bit me ever since!"
With the help of my faithful spawn, Shakir, I managed to pin her down and bite her. Jaheim attacked us, valiantly trying to protect the fair damsel, but he was defeated!
Then, like a true master, I gave them all a little chocolate treat, for being good. Maybe when she comes again, I will teach her how to hunt.
Allison is mother to two active boys who challenge her on a day to day basis with their escapades. In her other life, Allison juggles a regular day job as a marketing executive in a health food organization. At night, when everyone is asleep, she dreams of being a fulltime writer and super hero.