For the last couple of months, I've been telling you that my husband is a super villain. I've been keeping a secret journal which I plan to take to the oracle to see if there is anything that can be done to redeem him so it with a heavy heart that I must tell you that I fear his villainous ways may have rubbed off on Jaheim.
Like the one who came before him, Jaheim has a quick wit that at best leaves you shell-shocked and dumbfounded and at worst, puts him in trouble for rudeness. I've been watching him closely and it hasn't escaped my notice how easily he is able to put his brother in trouble. You'd think by now that Shakir would learn too, but Shakir is a super hero and like my brother says, super heroes are always hopeful that they can spark a reformation... or something like that, anyway. A fine example would be me giving them my consent to take a shower together, despite those warning bells that gonged loudly in my head. I gave them explicit instructions that there was to be no horsing around, no bickering, no jumping up and down in muddy puddles (to the geniuses behind Peppa Pig, take note that active boys in search of adventure need no further influence other than their minds) and they were to bathe properly, without soaking down the entire bathroom. It took less than five minutes for the bickering to start. The water, from the sound of things, was on full mast and from the snippets of arguments I picked up, neither of them were actually in the shower. Jaheim was in the toilet area, screaming that he needed to pee and Shakir held him at the middle, bossily telling him that he didn't know that all the time. Jaheim's feet were about two inches off the floor and they made a comical sight - Shakir trying desperately to carry Jaheim back to the shower and Jaheim thrashing about. Did I mention that the shower was on, at full mast? I gave Jaheim the first lash. He wailed loudly and scurried into the shower. Trying to give Shakir the lash could be likened to trying to dance with a left-footed partner - a lot of hard work. He got an extra lash for the extra effort. He scurried into the shower wailing. In true mother fashion, I yelled as loudly as I could, in my angst, "shut up!" Jaheim buttoned his lips, which wobbled for about a second or two, before he got himself under control. Shakir quietened but he kept wailing and moaning for another few minutes before he finally stopped. The funny thing about it is that Shakir could have easily saved himself the spanking if he had just complained for Jaheim. That's a lesson it feels like its taking him a lifetime to learn.
Also this week, I think it was Monday, Shakir asked me if it would be possible to grow up and become a real super hero. I asked him to explain, after all, I consider myself to be a real super hero. But when kids ask these questions, especially Shakir, I've leaned its best to ensure that we're both on the same page. Well, although I would rather not have heard it, I listened while he eloquently detailed what he was asking and I realised that he was actually speaking of catching real life criminals like real world iron man or green arrow. I was forced to tamp down the glowing pride that swelled inside me and explain that society would view him as a villain and refer to him as a vigilante. His work would not be appreciated. Then, later, I happened to see my super villain husband lift my two year old into his arms while saying, with a grin that spread from ear to ear, "come here, my super villain." It is imperative that speak with the oracle soon to find out what must be done to turn my husband away from his evil ways before he corrupts my young son.
Allison is mother to two active boys who challenge her on a day to day basis with their escapades. In her other life, Allison juggles a regular day job as a marketing executive in a health food organization. At night, when everyone is asleep, she dreams of being a fulltime writer and super hero.