It seems that I have been lax the past few weeks. My alter ego, the Amazing Alli has mysteriously not reared her head in a while. During this time, it seems that my boys have taken it upon themselves to hone their skills of destruction and have somehow managed to incorporate miscreant behaviour, including but not limited to manipulation. It is time for me to take a much needed rest while my alter ego takes over. This is just so that order can be restored at last, you understand.
Tonight, I collected the boys from by their grandmother's house and I toyed with the idea of making bakes. Then, I got the brilliant idea to make some cookies instead. I had seen a recipe that could work in the microwave online that I was just dying to try. I put the boys to watch TV, but as can be expected, they kinda hovered around as I mixed up the batter. Feeling pleased with myself, I found a flat cover and laid them out on it and forgetting that the material was not microwavable, I set it in the microwave for seven minutes while I went to watch up the wares. A few minutes later, I smell something burning and when I go to investigate, the kitchen is engulfed in smoke. It took me a few seconds before I realised my error, which is more proof that I'm exhausted. But you know what was amazing? It wasn't until I was in the kitchen trying to deal with it that Shakir appeared to tell me that he could smell smoke. I bit my lip. Hard. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but this is information that I could have used a dew minutes earlier.
So anyway, I'm trying to get the mess cleaned up and in the corner of my eye, I can see two boys playing what appears to be a wrestling game, in the bed. "Settle down!" I yell and they are still for about twenty seconds before they go again. I actually feel like twenty seconds is me giving them more credit than they deserve, but I like to think that I'm at least moderately intimidating so it certainly can't be any less than twenty seconds . Anyway, I didn't storm into the bedroom and yank them up, feet first as much as I would have liked to. There's a skipping rope around here somewhere that could easily have doubled as a lasso tonight. But, as I shuffled around the kitchen on my aching leg, all I kept telling myself was not to lose my cool. So they continue jumping around and I begin to hear them giggling and I warned them that I would get my weapon. Did they listen? Nope. They kept wreaking havoc and laughing like it was the greatest feeling in the world, all the while, the poor bed groaning loudly as the children bounced around.
Now, personally, I know about having fun. On occasion, I decide to take part in my own bit of play and we all have a grand ole time. But, night has fallen and tomorrow is school so when I say its time to settle, it is time to settle down. I don't understand those parents that are content to have the children up playing until they wear themselves out and fall asleep. That nonsense wears me out and I'm sorry, I have work to get to tomorrow. Furthermore, the kids have got to be up by a certain time to get ready to be out of the house by a certain time and when you see morning break, the last thing I want to add to my long list of things to do, is stimulating the child so he can stay awake. That being said, when its time to sleep, go to sleep.
Anyway, as I mentioned earlier, I'm trying to clean my mess up and I'm thinking how great it is that I didn't use all the batter in that first go, because now I can make the boys a treat. Wait... what? I'm not treating anyone who isn't listening to me. Forget that. I picked up my weapon of mass destruction and I gave it two powerful cracks. Quiet lasted all of five minutes this toss. Seriously, somebody either needs to wake up my alter ego or get that damned kryptonite out of here, because something is not right here.
Over the course of the next few weeks, keep your eye on this space. One sure way to rouse a sleeping alter ego is to write, but the other way is to... draw. I'm going to do both and you guys will be the first to read about it.
Allison is mother to two active boys who challenge her on a day to day basis with their escapades. In her other life, Allison juggles a regular day job as a marketing executive in a health food organization. At night, when everyone is asleep, she dreams of being a fulltime writer and super hero.