Have you ever noticed that as a mom you could be sitting alone, completely bored and starving for attention and no one notices. In times like these, I take a moment to look around and often find my kids draped over their father, with their eyes glued to the TV set. The moment I decide that I'm going to go on my computer or read a book, I suddenly develop friends. It never ceases to amaze me.
Children never think that you ought to have lives that are separate from them, but they have absolutely no problem having their own friends and activities that are completely devoid of you. And then comes the time when your child decides that you are an embarrassment to them and they don't even want to be seen with you. Personally, I never went through that. Usually, I like having my mother around. I admit that when started to describe herself as the Original and tell me that I was a carbon copy, I didn't much appreciate her humour, but I took it in stride. And although the ride was bumpy at times, she now has the pleasure of telling people that she raised a super hero - me!
The other thing I've come to realise is that as a parent, you relinquish all rights to TV and anything that you might have claimed ownership of before the kids put in an appearance. Don't believe me? We purchased a 32" flat screen TV while I was pregnant with Shakir. Jaheim has declared that it is his. I purchased a small 7" tablet to use sometimes when I don't feel like using the laptop. Jaheim has declared that it is his. I can't put my cell phone down in piece for that little boy, because if he spots it, he changes my wallpaper, rearranges my apps, takes photos and most recently, he shot a video of the ceiling. His father dared to take the phone from his clutches and the way that child screamed and carried on, you would have taught it was child abuse. The moment he laid eyes on me, I had to hear about how daddy took up my phone and has it beside him. "Daddy, give mummy her phone, it not yours," he'll admonish, his lips pushed high to the ceiling and his eyebrows taking the shape of a V.
The first time I realised that nothing I owned was mine was around the time that I began to see Shakir playing with the army of stuffed toys that once slept on my bed. Now, he had a crib to sleep in, and my bed was mine alone so I kept an assortment of stuffed toys I had collected over the years on my bed. His little games were subtle at first, then I began to realise that one by one, each little creature had been relocated to his toy box, where he could resume play at his leisure. His father pointedly asked me what a grown woman needed toys for and promptly took Shakir's side. So, when Shakir took over his PS2 at less than a year old and demanded full control of the TV through shows like Elmo's World, Barney and Friends and Curious George, I told myself it was a divine proclamation and quietly watched with amusement.
Allison is mother to two active boys who challenge her on a day to day basis with their escapades. In her other life, Allison juggles a regular day job as a marketing executive in a health food organization. At night, when everyone is asleep, she dreams of being a fulltime writer and super hero.