People say kids are a joy, but the thing they don't tell you is that a lot of the joy you feel happens in retrospect. When they're born, you have to try to squeeze in sleep where you can or walk around like a zombie until the baby gets adjusted to the night/day sequence. And I can bet that joy is the last thing on your mind when you smell your first baby bomb. When they start walking and talking, you spend so much time while they are awake yelling "stop that", "come here" and "put that down" that joy is clearly isn't the first expression that comes to mind.
It's similar to when you hear women talking about pregnancy and calling it a joy. There is so much that they don't tell you. They use decorative phrases like "everyone's experiences are different" and no one says exactly what it means. Having two different experiences in both my pregnancies, I can certainly agree that everyone's experiences are different. My first time, I ate like a beast, slept upright due to indigestion and other than that, it was great. It was the labour itself that had me swearing I wasn't about to get another one. To this day, I still don't know how I convinced myself that I wanted a second baby. And that second pregnancy? Let's just say it is more of a retrospective type of joy I feel. I look back and praise God that its over and to my husband's chagrin, I pray that it is the last time I will experience the miracle of giving birth. My kids spent the day out today and the house has been quiet all day. I should be elated - joyful, even. Instead, I find myself wondering what type of condition they'll be in when they return. Most days, Jaheim comes home miserable and exhausted. He races to undress so that he can get into the shower with his brother and then the next few minutes are punctuated with screams, yelling and complaints. These days, Shakir - Mr. Bossy Pants - has fallen into the habit of telling Jaheim what to do and if he doesn't cooperate, Shakir actually physically lifts him and puts him where he wants him. And Jaheim - Mr. Drama King - launches himself against the floor, in a fit of tears trying to convince me that he was pushed by Shakir. Right about this time, I raise my voice and summon my weapon of mass destruction in order to restore peace and order to the kingdom. Today in particular, I don't know where the weapon is. I often wish that I could call it, much like how Lion-O, Lord of the Thundercats, commands the sword of omens to come to his hands. My call would be something like this: "WOMD, I command you to rise. Transform this kingdom to peaceful contentment." Heck, if I could get it to do that, when its done, I'd ask it to make me a cup of cocoa or mauby depending on the mood. SIGH. But the reality is that real life super heroes have to extend themselves more and work harder than their TV counterparts. That's one of the many reasons that I like Batman. He doesn't have any special powers, he uses his brains, gadgets and has been trained in several areas of combat. Now, don't misunderstand what I'm saying about kids and pregnancy. I do believe that they are a joy, but they are also a full-time and stressful job. You've actually got to plan ahead for the trouble they give and be ready to initiate the backup plan for the backup plan as needed. Tonight, since I'm feeling a bit exhausted and I am bummed about having to return to work on Monday, my backup plan will be to send the kids to bed early. If it works, I will know true joy.
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About AllisonAllison is mother to two active boys who challenge her on a day to day basis with their escapades. In her other life, Allison juggles a regular day job as a marketing executive in a health food organization. At night, when everyone is asleep, she dreams of being a fulltime writer and super hero. Archives
October 2016
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